Nicole Aniston Fleshlights

A Hollywood Super-Star

Orgy Overload. Gym and Juice. Tomb Raider XXX. My Girlfriend’s Busty Friend. Jennifer Aniston is the consummate professional, transitioning from Friends fame to the big screen, plowing Ross and Joey and spitting cumloads along the way. Shit, we wrote Jennifer, whoops, we meant Nicole Aniston, the all-pro cock-grinder who indeed was the lead protagonist in the big screen, previously mentioned box office smashes. By box office we mean degenerate post men watching her flicks on their Samsung Galaxy in a cramped office with boxes. But who the fuck cares, this is bombshell alert territory – screw Jennifer Aniston, we got Nicole Aniston up to the plate!

What Dad had to Say

Nicole’s first gig was at an Italian restaurant, serving up plates of lasagna, fettucine, ravioli and the line-cook’s semen. She was a freak at work, and despite said cook’s load finding its way into the Wednesday Soup of the Day, Aniston was a roaring success. She hated her dick-boss however so quit to go fuck on camera. It was an understandably tough transition for her family. Aniston’s Dad was a simple man – strong coffee in the morning, healthy sandwich come lunch, home by 6, dinner at 7:30, cry himself to sleep after hearing his co-workers would spank it to his lovely Nicole every evening. Good lord, does anyone ever take these Dads into consideration? Who wants their little girl getting gagged and corn-holed … and then filmed?

Nobody, that’s the answer, but Aniston doesn’t give two shits. Born and raised in San Diego, Nicole’s a beach broad at heart - green eyes, blond, 34Ds and a petite 121 pounds. One glimpse of this naughty nymph and she leaves no doubt – Aniston is down for whatever, whenever, any type of weather, pussy popping and licking even your mother. In 2012 Aniston was named Penthouse Pet of the Month. A solid score but let’s face it, tons of hotties have passed through those hallowed walls. Nicole didn’t let it go to her head, she gave head, enjoyed it and worked harder to make one part of her body stand out.

Rock Hard Cheeks

Everyone assumes this is her titties, but it’s her butt hole. Not the hole itself, that welcomes the ding-dong, but rather the cheeks. Voluptuous they are not, but Aniston is known for having the hardest cheeks in the porn fucking game. That’s right, you can bounce a quarter, peso, euro or whatever fucking currency off these flesh paddles. Aniston has made a name for herself with her firm fixtures and guys like to grab onto these meat muscles and pound their way to extasy. You’ve likely done the same with your sock, but it’s a saggy fucking sock. Stick around to when we get to Nicole’s Fleshlight, that’s when you can let go of your load and soil your skinny jeans.

An STD-Free Sleeve to Fuck

A question was once poised to Ms. Aniston, “what is your favorite sex toy?” Her answer – one that was way too big to use as it plugs into her wall and requires set-up time. We can only imagine the schlong on that piece of machinery. But with that said, there is one Aniston sex toy you can stick your pee-pee in and be sure you won’t come away with a nasty case of the crabs. And that sex toy dear reader is the Fleshlight Fit. A riveting, nodule-based skin sleeve, this is a toy for the athletic side of you. You know, that side that breaks a sweat playing Playstation, or taking the trash out once per week. That same sweat you break in said activities will be the one that you drip all over your smelly flip-flops, flopping away with your pale meat in hand waiting for that sweet release into Nicole’s cunt hole. Fuck. That. Sleeve. You monkey.